a day of stress, silence and prayer
I woke up this morning and prayed to God to give me strength, patience, wisdom and discernment as I encounter the day’s challenges at work. While I prepared to go to work, my mobile phones’ constant beeping along with my iPod’s notification sound distracted me from my morning rituals. I paused for a moment to check them, and found myself opening my business hours while still in the comforts of my home. I didn’t want to waste time not answering the texts and emails that even during the morning commute for work, I could not keep my hands off my phones. What a way to start my day, indeed!
My work hours consisted of answering tons of emails, texts and even Facebook chats and messages, consolidating reports and meetings for upcoming activities. It went quite well, I suppose, until I realized that I was doing things way beyond the tasks assigned to me. And so, realizing this, I snapped out my composed behaviour and just let my emotions speak out loud. In short, my 11-hour work day ended with a heavy heart and stressed muscles. I wanted to have a massage but I didn’t have enough money in my wallet and I left my ATM at home. So I decided to do the long commute home, instead of taking a cab like I usually do when I’m feeling stressed from work. As I boarded the jeep, I tried to numb my mind and close my ears to the outside world. My iPod ran out of battery so I had no choice but to shut my senses off from the world around me. My mind bobbed in and out of the events of the day as I tried to convince myself to think of a void. Silence slowly relieved me of my heart’s burdens. I walked home today instead of taking the tricycle – still listening to the silence in my mind. I am resolved to be silent tonight until my heart calms down.
As soon as I arrived home, I opened my laptop and logged on to Facebook. My stomach grumbled. I didn’t have a real meal today… only the carbonara I bought from a friend that I ate for lunch. I opened the refrigerator and saw the 2-week old hotdog in the freezer. I cooked what’s left of it right away and ate with gusto. I still have to wash some underwear and pack my bag for a 3-day trip to Tacloban early morning tomorrow. I checked my Blackberry for any sign of activation of the data plan I enrolled to last night. None still. Calling customer service for the 5th time today, I hung up the phone not getting any acceptable answer. I gave up and waited with hope for tomorrow.
As the day ends, I pray for forgiveness and peace. Tomorrow holds the promise of excitement and joy. I look forward to waking up early.
written a month ago after a stressful day at work